Happy Independence Day

Even if you're not in the US, celebrate your independence today. That could be independence from debt, from tyrrany, or even just the independence to color your hair whatever color you want.

I choose to celebrate today with a little snippet of one of the many things that makes America great - the Muppets. One of my favorite blogs, Cake Wrecks, posted this today and I just have to share it. Pay attention to the very first seconds. Sam the Eagle makes a funny offhand remark about the "World Wide Web?" And, as always, Statler and Waldorf have to get their say in at the end.

I know my cousin will get a kick out of Beaker's part, since he's reproducing one of the most famous flute/piccolo lines in American patriotic repertoire.

But here's the big question: is the Swedish Chef a resident alien? Why else would he participate? We know he wasn't born here, since he's not the Swedish-American Chef. So he must be here on a green card, possibly studying for his citizenship exam.

While you watch, check out the slow-mo backgrounds. They're all stereotypically American things. The one I find most disturbing is the hot dog. There's something scary about a gigantic uncured sausage product looming in the background while being "enhanced" by a 50-foot tall bottle of mustard.

Without further ado, please to enjoy.

Update

I haven't even thought about updating this blog in a while - things have just been so busy. But when I created my item of the week listing, I thought I'd better update on what's happening, especially since the last post had no closure (about the water in the basement).

The water is gone. We had a sump pump installed, and that's doing a bang-up job of keeping the workroom dry. Things are still moved around down there, and there's still a huge pile of things in the garage. My tablecloths and dressmaking mannequin probably all smell like gasoline because the generator (in the garage) had a gas line leak the other day. But, c'est la vie. I'll run things (that I can) through the washing machine to take the stink out.

Actually, moving some of my stuff back into the basement is on my list of things to do. I just can't seem to get motivated to do them. Stupid Facebook has become my new obsession. Not Facebook in general, but a few of the games. *sigh* If only real money poured in at the rate of $10 million an hour, like my imaginary mafia money. But anyway, I'll have a chance to go through some things when I reorganize the basement and maybe put together an actual crafty area where I can work on things and see what I have at a glance. I couldn't believe the pattern/idea books that I had (past tense) that were just lying on the floor down there. If I make a real effort to keep things on shelves and organized, then I can track what resources I have and be more efficient when I work on things for my Etsy shop.

Speaking of Etsy, I found a couple of great sites that are a must for any Etsian looking to streamline a bit. They were featured recently in a "Sellers Helping Sellers" email, but I found them a while back. And of course, I meant to blog about them... before they were famous. One is Craftcult*. Their site tracks shop and item hearts, as well as front page, Storque and gift guides, so you can see how much love you're getting from the Etsy community. My favorite part is the item hearts. I used to go through every listing in my shop to see if they had any hearts. Now I can see them all at once.

The other must-see site for Etsyians is Etsyhacks. The site itself, while clean and easy to navigate, doesn't seem that interesting. But it's the brainchild of an Etsy spouse, who has created little programs that streamline many common Etsy tasks. They work in the Firefox browser, using an add-on called Greasemonkey, and they're wicked awesome! My favorites right now include "Copy listing" that allows me to create a new listing by copying another one. Then I just change the applicable text, upload new pictures, and submit. SOOOO much faster than doing it from scratch! The other one I think is super-slick is the Printable Receipt Enhancer. It uses style sheets to change the standard Etsy invoice, so that I can make it match my other materials and branding - and print on a single page instead of the 2 that the standard format needed (save my paper and postage money). Ian at Etsyhacks is also super-helpful - I'm having an issue with one of the hacks, and he's been great about keeping me updated.

Well, I guess that's enough rambling on for now. Enjoy Spring - and go out and play!

* Fixing the link colors in this layout is another thing on my to-do list. The issue is that I need light links on the side columns, and dark ones in the center. And I just haven't felt like CSS-diving to update the colors.

Goodness!

I've heard from other Etsy sellers that the way to stay visible, and therefore make more sales, is to list items often. Newly listed items are shown on the Etsy homepage, and will also show up in their really cool feature known as "Time Machine." Many Etsy browsers will click on the newly listed items that catch their eye. That's a whole new group, separate from the people who know what they want and search item tags/keywords.

Yesterday I relisted some items that had expired, and finally got some new things photographed and listed, too. I think I listed/renewed 9 items.

Well, my shop visits went through the roof! I've got Google Analytics installed in my shop, and it's fun to look at the various reports. I can't see the complete story for individual visitors, but I can see that someone from Italy stopped by, or that 4 people got to my shop from online searches. I've been averaging 4 visitors a day for the past couple of weeks - yesterday I had 40. 40! And that doesn't include me, because I've excluded my IP address from the tracking.

Now, if someone would only buy something instead of just looking.

It's coming along...

I'm so happy! I not only got the 3-column layout to work (it's not a Blogger standard), but I created my own background that looks good, and lines up with my columns. Not bad, considering I don't have a decent graphics program on my computer and have to fudge things. (It's amazing what you can do in Powerpoint of all things when you need to.)

The colors are a little weird right now. So over the next day or two I'm going to be doing a little HTML diving to change them - if I can remember how to identify things so that I have different link colors in the sidebars and the posts. I'm also going to work on a header pic that will match my Etsy shop.

I did want to post a few links to sites that I used for information and how-tos:

• The Cutest Blog on the Block, for inspiration for new backgrounds and tips on creating my own. Also for a link to an online scrapbooking site where I found links to a couple of sources.


• Tips For New Bloggers, a link referenced by TCBOTB. That's where I found the easy to follow instructions for 3-column layouts.


• DigiScrap Depot, a digital scrapbooking site with extensive links to free virtual papers, etc.


• The Digital Pinay, where I found the teal "paper" for my background. (If you're looking for it, the link is in her Nov. 13, 2008 post).


• Ziggle Designs for the beige paper, part of her Shabby Garden pack, included on the January 1, 2009 post.


• Hex Hub, for a great site with HTML color codes. They make coordinating text and other page elements much easier.

Best of all, I can easily change things when I want to put up a seasonal look. Cool!

Sweet! Fee-free money

*giggle* Sorry about that title, folks. I just had a little fun with the vowel alliteration.

I do a fair amount of electronic funds transfer, between my Etsy shop, occasional eBay sales, and selling things to other Cheffers from Chef Success. I've got a premier PayPal account, which allows me to accept credit card payments with lower fees than doing so through a standard account. But there's a drawback - ALL of my incoming transactions have fees. Yuck!

But I found a new fee-free alternative this weekend! Huzzah! It's called Revolution Money Exchange, and there are no fees for electronic use. (There are some for having a paper check drawn against your account, etc.) And I want to share it with you. Sign up for an account (it's free!) using the link below (also in the right sidebar, way down on the bottom), and you can get $25 free money in your account. You must sign up by May 15 to get the bonus cash, so hurry.

So how do they do it? There is one notable difference between RME and PayPal. RME is cash transfers only, no credit cards. They suggest using it for all types of payments: babysitter, splitting the check when dining with friends, dog walker, etc. I'm going to give them a try.

My Bird!

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

That's my parrot, featured on I Can Has Cheezburger. Car Guy uploaded her pic there, and captioned it. Someone else created this caption. Which is funny, but would be better if it had been a feather from our other bird instead of her own.

FWD: Pray for money, cards and roses

NaBloPoMo Day 5

If you've been active on the internet or with email for more than a week, you've almost certainly come across one or more "Forward this" type messages. They're usually about free money, good luck, or a missing person. Somehow, when they show up in Inboxes, normally intelligent people lose 20 or more IQ points and think they're legitimate.

Just last week I got one, forwarded by someone who knows better than to: a) forward them at all; or b) forward them to me. It was prefixed with a note: "Is this real? Should we quit our jobs for this?" No emoticon to indicate that the forwarder was joking.

Let me give you a piece of advice: Bill Gates is not going to distribute his fortune to people who do nothing more than forward an email. First, he has a foundation set up to distribute his wealth throughout the world through charitable means. Secondly, do you know how much tracking and legwork there would be to get a list of eligible emailers together? Let alone how much was due to each based on number of forwards!

On second thought, there are a lot of unemployed people in Michigan who would be happy to sort through email logs in exchange for a paycheck.

And just in case you haven't seen this, here's my favorite bit of humor about those emails. Enjoy!

SUMMARY OF THE PAST YEAR ON MY COMPUTER

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca Cola because I've learned that it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I now know that I can't boil a cup water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to my many internet friends, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to the great advice, I will never pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

PS: A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

We now return to your regularly scheduled blog

Sorry about that, folks. I had the best intentions of keeping this blog updated, but you know how that goes. Best laid plans and all that...

I also wanted this to be a place for me to make notes to myself about my jewelry and crafting, but it seems like my very little crafting time the past couple weeks has been filled with working on a Christmas gift for my Grandmother-in-Law. She very generously gave me her vintage fur coat, as she's moving from her house and needs to pare down. Car Guy and I don't usually exchange gifts with her, so I decided to surprise her with a crocheted blanket that she can use. Sounds good, except I wish I had more time to work on it. And I wish I had more time to make some new jewelry to list in my Etsy shop.

I've also been trying to stay busy with my home business. This time of year is traditionally the best time, sales-wise. If I can get my ducks in a row, I'll get bookings to carry me through the first couple months of 2008. Huzzah! It's coming together, slowly. As little discipline as I've had keeping this blog updated, I've got even less when it comes to making phone calls. Luckily, my last couple of hosts have been very motivated, with-it women. I really lucked out.

Just this morning, I saw something on one of my favorite blogs, a link to NatBloPoMo. I'm not going to sign up officially, but I'll do my best to participate. What is it? It's November! Kidding aside, it's National Blog Posting Month, and participants pledge to update their blogs at least once a day for the entire month of November. It could get a little interesting for me, as Car Guy and I are hosting Thanksgiving for his family, and I really need to spend about a week cleaning house to get ready for that.

A little clarification

I feel I must clarify something from yesterday's post.

The last line includes a reference to "Post Slut." That's a term from the Chef Success forum (AKA my main time-gobbler). It refers to someone who either a) posts a lot; or b) posts a lot to get their post count up. Many internet sites use an R-rated version of the term, in which the word "Slut" is represented by another word, starting with a "W", and rhyming with the word "shore." I don't recall who on Chef Success first coined the clean version, but I think it was my good friend JR.

Over the summer, there was quite a bit of chat on the forum about Post Sluts, and eventually I made a T-shirt with the phrase, "You call me Post Slut like it's a bad thing," phrasing thanks to another friend from the forum.

And if that moniker fits anyone over at CS, it's me. With over 10,000 posts, I'm one of the most social users over there. Yeah- that's what we'll call it, being social. Not a know-it-all or a buttinsky.

Although those names fit, too.

Just doing my job, ma'am

I feel like the forum cop today.

Yesterday I saw something a little un-kosher on my main semi-productive web hangout (read: forum), relating to alternate IDs. So I reported it to the admin. Then I was over at another forum that Car Guy admins, and found a topic that clearly violated the rules for posting in the area it was in. Reporting it wouldn't do much - and I could do that by just telling Car Guy about it when we both got home from work. Girding my loins for a fight from the original poster, I posted that the thread was in violation of the rules.

"It's just a quiz, not a discussion. So it's OK. You're overreacting."

"What is the inclusion of 'Report back' in your title other than an invitation to discussion?"

He got mad and locked the thread. But I got a Thank You private message from another forum member for calling the original poster on it.

And I managed to get a script working to link to active threads on my main forum! You can visit using the links on the right, under "Where else can you find me?".

Don't hate me because I'm a Post Slut.